Last week we spent time dissecting the elements of the essay, with particular emphasis on the introduction and topic sentences. Many of you noted you had some breakthroughs, even epiphanies at this time. I want to hear about it.
Post 1: Tell me what you learned during this workshop. Please be specific: what you thought and what you know know. Please also tell me the next area you would like to turn our attentions.
Post 2: Please respond to another classmate's post.
As always, posts must evidence authenticity, reflection and original thought. Please spend some time with this.(20 points)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
In the workshop I discovered how to write a fabulous introduction paragraph. Most of the time I really did not know how to make it interesting and so I always wrote it last. I found out that that is actually good to do. I knew some of the ways to make a hook but now I know more, like the funnel. And I remember from before how gerrunds ruin essays and so I always avoided them. I did not know that is, are, was, were, etc. were bad so now I try to avoid them but with much difficulty. The workshops have helped me improve my essay writing skills. Next time, I would like to know how to dig deeper into the matter since I sometimes have trouble with that. Say Mean Matters have always been somewhat challenging.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop, I realized elements that I was lacking in my essay. I did not include two pieces of evidence for each paragraph, which was a big deal. I also learned about smaller details I needed to look out for. For example, I never payed attention to using the -ing extension or use of the verb "being". I had never realized these corrections, so I was blindly making these mistakes in my essay. I would like to now work on writing on a conclusion. The conclusion has always been hard for me because I do not know what to include that doesn't bring up new topics.
ReplyDeleteFor me, my writing is different than Michelle's. I think the intro is very easy for me, and the words seem to come easily. Just like Michelle, though, I have learned new techniques such as The Funnel which have helped me stay on topic in a better way.
ReplyDeleteLauren A
ReplyDeleteThis worskshop was a tremoundous help for me. Especially since an introduction paragraph was what i had hoped to work on. I do not think i have completly mastered the skill of wrtiting an introduction paragraph but I do now know where to start with my essay and how I should direct it. I had no idea what to put into an introduction paragraph before this workshop so I do believe it helped. I remembered the gerunds can make the essay even more execrable then it may have been before. I was not aware the the verb "being" took away from the essay though, but know that I have been taught this fact I will proof my essay for this verb.I was very challenged with changing my sentences in this essay to fit all the guidlines of essay writing. This workshop did not help to much with topic senteces, it seemed as more of a review from what we had already learned. For the next writers workshop I would like to focus on either a conclusion or transitions.
Lauren A
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jason that a conclusion is
challenging because no new information can be added but you are also not supposed to repeat what was already said just revisit thoose ideas. Thats what I have always understood from a conclusion at least. I do also have some issues with say mean matter as does michelle. But my issue is more of when paraphrasing making sure that I am not making my paper a book report, but just enlightning the reader with evidence.
Like what Jason and Lauren said, conclusions are difficult. That and concluding sentences. I sont really have an idea how to conclude the essay now that I think of it. Im glad to know though that I am not the only one having trouble with not using any form of the word "to be". Unlike Lauren though, I think I present my evidence well, I just am not sure if I dig deep enough. But again, like what Jason said, it would be helpful to work on conclusions.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop I have learned how to make my introduction stronger and all of the different ways to start the introduction. These ways include: anecdote, quote, question, etc. I also learned that an essay should never start with the 'dawn of man' beginning or definition. In order to start of with a question, it must not be dull to the point where it bores the reader. When starting with the quote, it must be brought up again in the introduction proving the argument. I already knew that gerunds were bad in an essay unless they were absolutely needed and that an essay should be in present tense. IT was difficult to lose all of the 'is' words. I believe the workshop has helped me to make a better introduction on the previous essays and foor essays in the future. I personally have trouble with the matter portion of the evidence and will personally focus on it, but as a class, I think a workshop dedicated to making a stronger conclusion will benefit many people.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jason as an essay that does not answer all of the prompt completely and lacks important parts of the essay can be difficult. I can also relate to Michelle's focus area, as it is my biggest problem I believe. It is difficult for me to go to the matter part without summarizing the quote or repeating the mean part. Again though, as a class, more would probably benefit from a workshop dedicated to making a strogner conclusion.
ReplyDeleteThanks to this workshop I learned how to write a good topic sentence. I learned that topic sentences must never be a fact and should relate back to the thesis statement. I also learned how to write a great introduction using the methods given to us. I think that the funnel method may be the easiest one, and it helped that Ms. Gerber told us what not to do in an introduction, such as ask a question that is not compelling. It also really helped that Ms. Gerber let us work in groups to review the two poems that we were writing about. What shocked me was the fact that we need to remove or replace gerunds and "to be" verbs. It was difficult and confusing and it would be great if we went over that in class. I also think that we need to focus on Say Mean Matters and writing a good conclusion paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jason. I was making mistakes in my essay without even knowing it; and it would be great if we went over conclusion paragraphs. I also agree with Lauren A. about the introduction paragraph. It helped a lot to learn the different methods, and that it is easier to write the introduction paragraph after getting your thoughts down. As Robert said, I believe we should focus on evidence and Say Mean Matters to make our arguments stronger.
ReplyDeleteTyler S
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop I have learned that the introduction paragraph is a key part of your essay. If the introduction is not good then most likely your essay will not be writen well. I used to just put off the introduction until the last minute and not revisit anything from it. I feel like my intro is stronger and that i revisited key points through out my essay. I also think that the two peer edits really helped my essay. Two peer editors most likely have different points of view and different suggestions. Different points of view help me expand my argument and go deeper in my matter. Also i did not know how different how different passed tense could sound compared to present. Once I changed my entire essay from passed to present i noticed how it followed better. This workshop is everything i needed to make my essay better. I know understand what a model essay is suposed to be written like.
In this workshop I learned some of the more logical ways of constructing introductions rather than throwing things together and calling it a introduction. I belive that having a introduction with some structure to it makes my essay that much stronger. In the next workshop we should focus on how to properly use the evidence we collect and how to use that evidence to our advantage.
ReplyDeleteTyler S
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention this in my first post: Next time i would like to work on the conclusion a little more and say/mean/matter.
I also agree with jason. Conclusions are extremely hard i never know howe to conclude a paragraph to concluding the entire essay. Also, i never knew about the -ing or the being. Knowing how to correct gurrends and -ing is efficient but extremely hard.
In this workshop, I learned how important the introduction paragraph is. I did not know there were so many ways to write it. the examples that were given helped me a lot. I learned to have a strong intro that would hook the readers and make them want to read more. I have read intros that hooked me right away, but I did not know how to structure it properly. This workshop allowed me to learn and pick which type of intro would fit my essay the best. For this essay, I tried using the imagery/anecdote style. It was my first time using this style and I am not sure if I had the right elements. However, I was able to push myself to try a new style. For the future, I hope to use other styles that would hook my readers. The topic sentence workshop made me more careful on making sure my topic sentences were opinions and connected to the thesis. For the next workshop, I would like to focus on say/mean/matter. For the past essays, I have always had trouble writing the matter part. I was not sure what to write. Also I would like to focus on how to write a conclusion.
ReplyDeletebefore our writer's wprkshop, i thought i knew how to make an intro. after the workshop, i had learned much more. i used to just put filler to lead up to my thesis. the workshop really broke it down for me. i have a much better understanding of the content that needs to be in the intro. my favorite technique is the funnelo. i used the funnel in my essay. i also think that it was extremely helpful when we went through and swept for gerrunds, passive voice, etc. it gave my essay a much more cursive flow. the next area i would like to focus on is say/mean/matter and how transitions. the transitions are challenging and i think the workship would help.
ReplyDeletei agree with catherine. the workshop did really show how important the intro was. i understand how she is talking about it is important to have a strong hook to bring the readers into the essay. the workshop did also get me to push myself to new levels of writing. i think the workshop helped everyone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Gio. I learned many techniques on how to write an intro. I also had a hard time fixing my is and was. I tried not to use them but it was difficult to explain something without using those words. I always use them in my daily language, so I thought the sentence might mean differently if I took out the is. But I found out that the essay sounds better and stronger without using is, was, were.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop, I learned how to write a well-written introduction paragraph. It really helped me to learn the elements of an essay, especially the introduction. I had no idea what to write because I didn't want to write too much or too little. Taking the time to go over the steps to writing a successful first paragraph helped me better understand it all. I never knew we could not use "is" so that was extremely hard for me to not do. There were many new things I never knew before doing the workshop. It helped me SO much. For our next essay, I would like to work on digging deep into the matter. I want to know how far we should take it and how it will help prove our overall thesis, making a great essay. Hopefully from learning the information about writing a good introduction and learning about say, mean, and matter, we can result in writing A+ essays.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michelle. I did not know how to make my introduction paragraph interesting and the workshop was very useful. I had a difficult time with the correction we made such as "is", "are", "being" and all gerunds. I would love to work on say, mean, matters next because I also have difficulty with those.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop I realized that I have been writing my introduction completely wrong. I could never figure out what to put into it so I would use definitions as hooks and and then summarize the story it was on. I now realize that there are numerous other ways to write and suck in the reader through an introduction. I also noticed that with out using "is" an essay flows better and does not bore the reader. For the next essay I think I want to focus more on the conclusion because I always feel completely awkward writing then and I am just rambling on to take up space. Another thing I would like to work on is digging deeper into the matter. I always know what I want to say in the matter, but am not exactly sure how to put it on paper so that if flows with the rest of my essay.
ReplyDeleteIn this workshop, i learned the different methods of writing an introductory paragraph. This helped me because it gave me options and ideas as to how to start the essay without sounding boring. I thought that an introductory paragraph was just supposed to open the essay and tell the reader about what the essay will talk about. I learned that the introductory paragraph is more than this because it is where the writer tells their main opinions about the subject. Personally, I need to work on using evidence that directly supports my argument and not just adds facts about the topic, in addition to the matter in say/mean/matter.
ReplyDeleteI agree with pretty much everyone when they say that the break down on the introduction was extremely helpful. I also agree with Catherine when she and how she wants to work on conclusions because I am really unsure if I am supposed to revisit everything or tie everything back together with something new. I also agree with Grayson when he says that working on transitions would help because I always do not know what to say and then forget to put them in all together.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Meghan in that not using "is" does make a difference in the essay. I had trouble at first trying to substitute words for "is", but when I read through the essay again it sounded more interesting and did not leave boring gaps in every sentence. I also used to use definitions as hooks when I did not know what to write in the introduction, but this does not intrigue the reader and make them want to continue past the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we learned about the different types of introduction paragraphs. While we were going over them, I began to remember essays and blog posts I've recently read and I identified what methods were used in the intro. Now I know that the funnel is my favorite method. I also learned the importance of intro paragraphs. They not only tell the reader what the rest of the essay is about, but they show how the essay is going to flow. To me, without a good intro, there can be no good essay.
ReplyDeleteMichael
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing I learned when we were talking about the introduction paragraph was to come back to it. Writing the introduction is one of the hardest things for me to do. When you told us that we could skip it and come back to it later I thought I would still be the hardest task to do. To my surprise it worked it cut my work time in half. I also learned numerous was to write the introduction, my favorite way to right it is the funnel I also used it on the last essay. When we were talking about the topic sentences I thought I was fine with doing them and I think I did a good job on my essay. For next time I would like to focus on the closing paragraph. Besides the introduction it is the second hardest thing to do. That is the main thing I want to focus on.
During the writer's workshop for the essay I learned what to do while writing. It takes alot of time, this time I managed my time well. I learned that the more times that I reveiw my paper it improves. Paying close attention to the details is definatly worth it! I now know how to create a semi-proper work cited and I know that I need to have someone I know reveiw it aswell, before I turn it in. The next thing that I wish to work on is say/mean/matter, but I know we're going to so I also want to work on lead in sentences.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jason, I too was blindly making the same mistakes in my essay. I was using ing and is which is a fast way to get a bad grade on an essay. I also think he is right on saying we should work on the closing paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michael about the introduction. It was ten times easier to come back to it at the end. Changing just the intro to fit the essay is better than changing the essay to fit the intro. Like Michael said it also cut my work time in half. I learned what I need to focus on and what are my strengths. I simply spend more time on those things that need the attention rather than fixing the good things. My favorite stratagy for the intro is also the funnel. I don't need too much work on my conclusion, but it could use some work. This essay was way better than the last and much more enticing.
ReplyDeleteFrom the writing workshops, I learned sundry ways to write an introduction paragraph. Before, I was not too clear on how and what should be included in that paragraph, besides capturing the reader's attention. My goal is to use almost every one of the methods of writing an introduction so I can see which one is most effective for my writings. For the topic sentences, I now know that they are supposed to show opinion that can be argued, but for some reason I still struggle with this. I am also having trouble with concluding sentences as well. In addition, I think I could also benefit from improving transitions in my essays so that it flows much smoother.
ReplyDeleteI am in total agreement with Hayden's response. I also thought an introductory paragraph was just something to open my essay with my opinion. However, it is really a crucial part of the essay that either makes or breaks it depending whether or not it hooks the reader. I need to practice with using evidence more effectively too, as well as digging deeper into the matter. Hopefully for the essays in the future I will advance a step further in writing an almost ideal essay.
ReplyDeleteLauren V:
ReplyDeleteOne of the most helpful tips I learned was how to write a better introduction paragraph. I like how we have different strategies to choose from when we start on an introduction. It was a lot of work to change gerunds and all of the "is" but I think it helped my essay. For our next essay I would like to work on the matter part of S/M/M, I feel like I have a lot more improvement to do with the matter. Also I want to make my transition sentences better so that they will help my essay flow.
Lauren V:
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lauren Sato's response. I think that topic sentences as well as the concluding sentences can be tricky to write. I am also trying to make my topic sentences more arguable and persuasive. If I can improve topic sentences and digging deeper into the matter, I feel my essays will be on topic and organized.
In this writing workshop what helped me the most was the day we talked about introduction paragrapphs. It extremely helped me understand the different types of introductions there were. I liked how we learned about what did not work in an introduction and what did work. In the past i have used the definition introduction and also the quote introduction. Now i know that the definition begining is a terrible choice. In the past i have been guilty of not revisiting the qoute that i started my whole essay on. In general the whole writers workshop helped out my essay. When we went over topic sentences I found that almost every single one of my topic sentences were facts. Spending the time in class helped me learn how to change them to opinions.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Lauren V. said. One of my biggest issues now is digging into the matter. Say/Mean/Matters would help. It was extremely hard to try and change the "is" and gerrands out of my essay. I thought after we took them all out and changed the wording to make it flow better helped.
ReplyDeleteI thought the writing workshop was extremely helpful. The ideas like writing the body paragraphs first was an excellent idea that I used and it helped me stay on topic. Not using the word "is" proved challenging, but made my easy sound better.
ReplyDeleteI learned that it is way easier to just keep it simple and expand then try to start out to complicated. Also I learned that the intro should flow and the tunnel method is so effective. The thesis also is way easier when you keep the thesis simple. I stayed on topic too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Harry. It helped keep us organized and it also helped me stay on topic.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cristina. The introductory paragraph was the most helpful part of writing an essay that I learned. Not using denotations and instead using ideas like a funnel introductory make a far better first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI learned all the new methods of writing an introduction. All the new ways really cleared it up and made me realize going in with a plan is much better than just throwing sentences out there. i reakky liked the funnel method. the idea of starting off with a big topic and breaking down was really easy to comprehend. Next i want to focus on how to make topic sentences agree more with my thesis and introduction
ReplyDeletei agree with hayden. the introductory is much more than just opening up a story. it helped me realize than introductions are important and the better the introduction is the easier it is to write the essay
ReplyDeleteDuring the writers workshop, I learned how to write an interesting introduction. The introduction was the worst part of my essay previously, but now I feel that I have the ability to start an essay strong. Starting an essay strong will attract the reader to my essay, and will make the reader want to keep reading. I have more confidence in writing an introduction. I also learned more ways to write a compelling introduction, so that if I don't like writing an introduction one way, I can attempt to write my introduction using a different form
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hayden. I always thought that the introduction was just their to introduce the reader to the essay. I never realized it was such an important part of making the reader interested. I also never realized it was an area to lay out your opinion and discuss your side.
ReplyDeleteSorry its late.
ReplyDeleteIn this last workshop I learned what it was that my introduction needed. I also learned about the different types of introduction and how to properly use the types of introduction that I previously knew. This workshop was incredibly helpful to me. What I would like to work on next is Say/Mean/Matter again as I do not fully understand how to do it.
I agree with Lauren V said. Say/Mean/Matter is not easy and since it is the part of the essay that provides support for our arguements it should be the most focused upon. I also agree with her on removing all forms of the word is. Removing is allowed my arguement to sound more forceful.
ReplyDelete